Working in accounting and studying for the CPA exam can be a grind. Sometimes all you need is a good accounting joke to keep you going! For this post, we’ve collected some of the best accounting, CPA, and tax jokes and puns you’ll find anywhere. Accountants love memes as much as anyone, so we’ve added some of those too!
Hopefully this post can give you a nice break during busy season or after studying your CPA review course.
Feel free to keep the fun going add any other good accounting jokes in the comments below!
Contents
- 1 Accounting and CPA Jokes
- 1.1 How does an accountant stay out of debt?
- 1.2 What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don’t?
- 1.3 Why do economists exist?
- 1.4 What does an accountant say when you ask him the time?
- 1.5 What is the definition of “accountant”?
- 1.6 Why did the cannibal accountant get disciplined?
- 1.7 Did you hear about the cannibal CPA?
- 1.8 Why don’t accountants read novels?
- 1.9 Did you hear about the constipated CFO?
- 1.10 How do you drive an accountant completely insane?
- 1.11 How else do you drive an accountant completely insane?
- 1.12 Why did the accountant stare at his glass of orange juice for three hours?
- 1.13 How was copper wire invented?
- 1.14 What does CPA stand for?
- 1.15 What do you call a trial balance that doesn’t balance?
- 1.16 There are just two rules for creating a successful accountancy business:
- 1.17 What does an accountant say when boarding a train?
- 1.18 A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, “Want to hear an accountant joke?”
- 1.19 A business owner tells her friend that she’s desperately searching for an accountant.
- 1.20 Why are accountants always so calm, composed, and methodical?
- 1.21 What would an accountant wish to have as a superpower?
- 1.22 Why does Santa like visiting the US?
- 1.23 How does Santa’s accountant value his sleigh?
- 1.24 Why happens to old accountants?
- 1.25 How do you know when an accountant’s having a mid-life crisis?
- 2 Accountants are the LIFO the Party
- 2.1 What do actuaries do to liven up their office party?
- 2.2 What do you call an accountant who is seen talking to someone?
- 2.3 What’s an actuary?
- 2.4 What do accountants like to do for fun?
- 2.5 What’s the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?
- 2.6 What’s an extroverted accountant?
- 2.7 Why do some accountants decide to become actuaries?
- 2.8 Have you heard the joke about the interesting accountant?
- 3 Accountants = Workaholics
- 3.1 What do you call a financial controller who always works through lunch, takes two days holiday every two years, is in the office every weekend, and leaves every night after 10 p.m.?
- 3.2 What did the overworked asset say to the other asset?
- 3.3 Why do accountants get excited for the weekends?
- 3.4 What do you call an accountant without a spreadsheet?
- 3.5 What do you call an accountant without a calculator?
- 3.6 Did you hear about the shy and retiring accountant?
- 3.7 How do you know when an accountant is on holiday?
- 4 Jokes About Audit Life
- 5 Between the (Spread)sheets
- 6 Jokes About Grey Areas
- 7 Jokes About Taxes and the IRS
- 7.1 A fine is a tax for doing wrong.
- 7.2 Two things in life are inevitable: death and taxes.
- 7.3 How do you know if you have a good tax accountant?
- 7.4 What’s the difference between death and taxes?
- 7.5 Ever wonder how Form 1040 got its name?
- 7.6 Some say that nobody should keep too much to themselves.
- 7.7 The best things in life are free
- 7.8 Why don’t skunks have to pay taxes?
- 7.9 Where do homeless accountants live?
- 8 Funny Accounting Sayings
- 8.1 Accounting: Yes, it’s accrual world, but be audit you can be and let’s get fiscal!
- 8.2 It’s 4:04. Do you know where your auditor is?
- 8.3 For every tax problem there is a solution that is straightforward, uncomplicated, and wrong.
- 8.4 Where there’s a will, there’s a tax shelter.
- 8.5 Welcome to the Accounting department, where everybody counts.
- 8.6 Accountants never die, they just get derecognized.
- 8.7 They say there are 3 types of accountants. Those who can count, and those who can’t.
- 9 Accounting Memes
- 10 Ok, let’s wrap this up!
Accounting and CPA Jokes
How does an accountant stay out of debt?
He learns to act his wage.
What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don’t?
Depreciation.
Why do economists exist?
So accountants have someone to laugh at.
What does an accountant say when you ask him the time?
It’s 9.18 am and 12 seconds; no wait – 13 seconds, no wait – 14 seconds, no wait……
What is the definition of “accountant”?
Someone who solves a problem you didn’t know you had in a way you don’t understand.
Why did the cannibal accountant get disciplined?
For buttering up her clients.
Did you hear about the cannibal CPA?
She’s good but she charges an arm and a leg.
Why don’t accountants read novels?
Because the only numbers in them are page numbers.
Did you hear about the constipated CFO?
He couldn’t budget with his calculator so he had to work it out with a pencil and paper.
How do you drive an accountant completely insane?
Tie him to a chair, stand in front of him and fold a road map the wrong way.
How else do you drive an accountant completely insane?
Tie them to a chair and mess up their excel formulas.
Why did the accountant stare at his glass of orange juice for three hours?
Because the box said “Concentrate”.
How was copper wire invented?
2 accountants were arguing over a penny.
What does CPA stand for?
Can’t Pass Again.
What do you call a trial balance that doesn’t balance?
A really late night.
There are just two rules for creating a successful accountancy business:
1) Don’t tell them everything you know. 2) [Redacted]
What does an accountant say when boarding a train?
“Mind the GAAP.”
A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, “Want to hear an accountant joke?”
The guy next to him replies, “Well, before you tell that joke, you should know that I’m 6 feet tall, 200 pounds, and I’m an accountant. And the guy sitting next to me is 6’2″ tall, 225 pounds, and he’s an accountant. Now, do you still want to tell that joke?”
The first guy says, “No, I don’t want to have to explain it two times.”
A business owner tells her friend that she’s desperately searching for an accountant.
Her friend asks, “Didn’t your company hire an accountant a few weeks ago?”
The business owner replied, “That’s the accountant I’ve been searching for.”
Why are accountants always so calm, composed, and methodical?
They have strong internal controls and know how to keep their sheet in balance.
What would an accountant wish to have as a superpower?
Telepathy with an excel spreadsheet.
Why does Santa like visiting the US?
Because he can use the Gift Tax exclusion.
How does Santa’s accountant value his sleigh?
Net Present Value.
Why happens to old accountants?
They lose their balance!
How do you know when an accountant’s having a mid-life crisis?
He gets a faster calculator.
Accountants are the LIFO the Party
What do actuaries do to liven up their office party?
Invite an accountant.
What do you call an accountant who is seen talking to someone?
Popular
What’s an actuary?
An accountant without the sense of humor.
What do accountants like to do for fun?
Add the telephone book!
What’s the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?
At least the accountant knows he’s boring.
What’s an extroverted accountant?
One who looks at your shoes while he’s talking to you instead of his own.
Why do some accountants decide to become actuaries?
They find bookkeeping too exciting.
Have you heard the joke about the interesting accountant?
No? Me neither.
Accountants = Workaholics
What do you call a financial controller who always works through lunch, takes two days holiday every two years, is in the office every weekend, and leaves every night after 10 p.m.?
Lazy.
What did the overworked asset say to the other asset?
I feel so under depreciated.
Why do accountants get excited for the weekends?
Because they can finally wear casual clothes to work.
What do you call an accountant without a spreadsheet?
Lost.
What do you call an accountant without a calculator?
Lonely.
Did you hear about the shy and retiring accountant?
He was $1 million shy and hence is retiring.
How do you know when an accountant is on holiday?
He doesn’t wear a tie and comes in after 8am!
Jokes About Audit Life
Why did the auditor cross the road?
Because he looked in the file and that’s what they did last year.
Why did the auditor get run over crossing the road?
Because he didn’t perform the risk assessment until after the accident.
How many auditors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
How many did it take last year?
Between the (Spread)sheets
Why do accountants make good lovers?
They’re great with figures.
Why are accountants such players?
Because they’re up all night long with different models
An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor:
Accountant: “Doctor, I just can’t get to sleep at night.”
Doctor: “Have you tried counting sheep?”
Accountant: “That’s the problem – I make a mistake and then spend three hours trying to find it.”
If an accountant’s wife cannot sleep, what does she say?
“Darling, could you tell me about your work.”
Jokes About Grey Areas
What’s an accountant’s favorite book?
50 Shades of Grey.
What’s grey and not there?
An accountant on vacation.
What’s grey on the inside and red on the outside?
An accountant turned inside out.
How do accountants make a bold fashion statement?
Wear their dark grey socks instead of the light grey.
Jokes About Taxes and the IRS
A fine is a tax for doing wrong.
A tax is a fine for doing well.
Two things in life are inevitable: death and taxes.
At least death only happens once.
How do you know if you have a good tax accountant?
There’s have a loophole named after her / him.
What’s the difference between death and taxes?
Congress doesn’t meet every year to make death more complicated.
Ever wonder how Form 1040 got its name?
For every $50 you earn, you get $10, they get $40.
Some say that nobody should keep too much to themselves.
The IRS feels the exact same way.
The best things in life are free
Plus tax, of course.
Why don’t skunks have to pay taxes?
Because they only have one scent.
Where do homeless accountants live?
In a tax shelter.
Funny Accounting Sayings
Accounting: Yes, it’s accrual world, but be audit you can be and let’s get fiscal!
It’s 4:04. Do you know where your auditor is?
For every tax problem there is a solution that is straightforward, uncomplicated, and wrong.
Where there’s a will, there’s a tax shelter.
Welcome to the Accounting department, where everybody counts.
Accountants never die, they just get derecognized.
They say there are 3 types of accountants. Those who can count, and those who can’t.
Accounting Memes
This person is going places…
When you present your variance analysis to the client
Next-level Accounting skills
The best part about auditing is…
We’ve all been there
For the Excel masters
Your first “learning experience” is always the best
Ok, let’s wrap this up!
Well I suppose we should all get back to work now 🙂 . Hopefully these brightened up your day a bit. Feel free to leave a comment with any other funny accounting jokes you know that I missed!
Featured image courtesy of Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels
